I just wanted to do something that feels good
Someone once said that to me in answer to a question of why he engaged in destructive behaviour. I found it surprisingly vulnerable and non-defensive. He seemed to be saying that he would gladly choose something less harmful if he felt like he had options.
The need to celebrate can be intense – particularly times like Friday nights when we feel like we’ve had our noses to the grindstone all week. This is Friday afternoon and I just dropped in at the liquor store to pick up a couple bottles of wine even though our “cellar” (i.e. closet) is reasonably stocked. Just buying them felt like a way of noting that this begins a weekend. We feel, not without reason, that the world owes us a good time now after all our effort. The problem is that when that good time does not come easily, the disappointment can lead us to make bad choices.
If, on the other hand, we suppress the need to do something that feels good, we will (I suspect) eventually become depressed. So finding enjoyable outlets for celebrating are incredibly important. Considering that it is, in part, about feeling good, it’s amazing how we resistant we are to pursuing the art of celebration wisely. What have been some of your favourite events? Who are some (available) people you most enjoy hanging out with? What could I initiate? What do I enjoy doing alone? With our eyes open there is lots to celebrate.
Finding the right things that feel good can save us from the wrong things – or from drifting into depression.